Hard Soap
| Hard Soap | |
|---|---|
| Director: | Bob Chin |
| Writer: | John Thomas Chapman |
| Studio: | Golden Gate Productions |
| Country: | United States |
| Language: | English |
| Released: | 1977 |
| Runtime: | 76 mins. |
| Series: | Not In Any Series |
| Watch Hard Soap | |
Hard Soap is an adult film that was made in 1977, as a adult film satirical of 1970s television soap operas.
A sexual comedy with a over-the-top storyline, the film's tagline was "Lather Up, Guys !"
Porn director Bob Chinn continues his director-actor relationship with superstart John Holmes, having worked together in the Johnny Wadd series of films. For Holmes, the film is almost a forgotten masterpiece, although of the three scenes he was involved in, he is only seen in a start-to-finish sex encounter in the very last scene, a one-on-one with actress Laurien Dominique, which is a rather unspectacular scene compared to some of Holmes' other work.
Plot Summary
Penny Holmes (played by Laurien Dominique) is the wife of Dr John C. Holmes (played by John Holmes), a sex therapist who has his own problem in that he can't get erections. Her friend, Linda Lou (referred to as Lou through the film - played by the hot & horny Candida Royalle) comes to stay with her while Dr Holmes is out of town.
An amateur sex therapist in her own right, Penny is helping several locals in their sex life, including the milkman (played by Charles Law), who is having problems satifying his wife (but has no problem satifying Penny, who nearly forgets to put the milk in the refridgerator !), and the paperboy, Willard (played by Jon Martin), who has not lost his virginity, and likes to jerk off while watching Penny use a vibrator through her bedroom window (until Lou busts him, and gives him his "first piece of ass").
While Penny is working on Dr Holmes' secretarial duties in his absence at his clinic, she goes to far in trying to offer the janitor (played by Paul Thomas) some advice about his sexual drive, and he rapes her.
Traumatised, Penny & Lou invite a priest around to comfort her, but Penny flips out when he advises that he is gay.
Lou is staying with her boyfriend (played by Ken Scudder), but when Penny hears them having sex, she "needs some relief", so Lou offers him to let him finish off with her so she can relax.
Penny & Lou return to Dr Holmes' clinic to help with his backlog of patients. The waiting area has a collection of challenged patients, including a catatonic crazy in a wheelchair (played by Joey Silvera in a non-sex role), who leaps out of his wheelchair and leaves when Lou attempts to touch him. She attempts to cure the mentally retarded Smith brothers (played by Mike Donovan & Steve Vassari) who where having erection problems, with a threesome she performs from the vacated wheelchair. Meanwhile, Patty gives a hand & blow job to Pierre, a Frenchman suffering from premature ejaculation, while she also handles the office phone calls.
When Penny & Lou return home, Penny's sister, Patty (played by Joan Devlon), and friends are waiting for them in their lounge. Patty cannot see, having been blinded by a flasher with a huge cock. Apparently knowing that Dr Holmes has a gigantic cock, she suggests that by sucking a huge cock, she might regain her vision. When Dr Holmes arrives back home from his trip, Patty sucks Dr Holmes cock, and while Dr Holmes manages to get an erection, Patty regains her sight. The scene unfortunately closes out, with Dr Holmes about to fuck Patty from behind. Meanwhile, one of Patty's friends is found to be a transvestite, who Lou starts giving a blow job.
The film closes with a scene in which Penny & John Holmes (now cured of his erection problems) have sex, and Dr Holmes' now fully-functioning cock climaxing over Penny's breasts, with their love life apparently restored.
Cast
Scenes
In one scene, Penny rushes to her bedroom, knowing that the paperboy, Willard, is scheduled to be at her bedroom window, where he seems to habitually watch her using her vibrator, while he jerks off. While masturbating, Penny tells Lou that Willard is shy, and that she's trying to help him get over his problems with girls. Lou takes matters into her own hands, and taps Willard on the shoulder while he's jerking off, asking him if he's ever had a piece of ass. When he says that "he almost did once", she offers herself, although he insists on being allowed to continue watching Penny through the bedroom window while they fuck. Finding Willard's cock is too limp, Lou gives him oral sex to get him hard, then they fuck (while he continues to watch Penny masturbate through the window). When Willard tells Lou he's about to cum, she tells him "who says you could cum, creep - just keep humping !", but Willard pulls out and ejaculates over Lou's ass. While he runs off, she waves her fist & screams "You perverted little bastard - it's pimples for the rest of your life you little cocksucker !", but then smiles to herself, apparently content with her work.
During the scene, a car accident can be heard in the background (indicating the drivers were busy watching Lou & Willard having sex at the front of the Holmes household), then a police siren is heard, but the police car also crashes, also apparently having witnessed Lou & Willard having sex).
In another of the film's great scenes, Lou has a threesome with the Smith brothers in the waiting room of Dr Holmes' clinic. She sits in the wheelchair vacated by a crazy man, who leapt from the wheelchair and fled when she made advances towards him, and she proceeds to take turns in sucking & fucking the Smith brothers. During the scene, the Smith brothers, who are semi-retarded and with strong twitches, have a conversation where they find out that they were having an affair with each other's wives, and end up annoyed at each other.
In an early scene, Penny is talking to the milkman about his problems with his wife. He thinks that he can't satisfy her, so Penny strips off her jeans, bends over the kitchen table, and offers herself to him, claiming "it's the only know we'll know for sure". However, she notices the milk still on the kitchen table, and excuses herself, putting the milk bottles in the refridgerator, before returning to bend over the kitchen table again. As the milkman fucks her from behind, she claims that he is actually quite good, and exclaims that she is satisfied, but he asks if he can keep going, to which Penny replies "well, if you want to be sure". At that point, Lou arrives at the household, and the milkman cums all over Penny's backside before seeing Lou, and passing out on the table. Penny gets up, and continues to jerk the remaining cum from the milkman's cock, while Lou, watching on, says "that's some kind of open-heart massage !". Penny hides Lou from the milkman, and claiming that the shock might be too much for him when he comes-to. When he does, he quickly gathers his clothes, apparently ashamed of what he has done, while Penny continues to offer advice to him in regards to his relationship with his wife.
A further memorable scene is when Lou & Penny have two male houseguests for dinner. Smitten with one, Lou excuses herself, but rather then leaving the room, she heads under the table to give him a blow job. While Penny talks about the boring topic of visiting the dry cleaner, Lou continues to give him head, but when he mentions in the conversation that his wife usually does the cleaning, she is outraged, and punches him as hard as she can in the testicles.
Media
The movie was originally a film release in the days where such features were played in theatres. It was available in 8mm film initially, then was released on VHS & BETA video tape when the format gained popularity, until some point in the 1980s. The film was unavailable commercially in full form many years (although two clips from it appeared in the DVD, The Candida Royalle Collection) until 2008, when Alpha Blue released the full movie as part of the Laurien Dominique Triple Feature on DVD.
Unfortunately, true enthusiasts of this Bob Chinn classic will be disappointed with this new release - the film as it appears on the Laurien Dominique Triple Feature appears to have been re-cut, and it is no longer in sequence with the original release (in one scene, Lou mentions that the first time she met John, it was when he caught her blowing their dinner guest under the table - however, in the Alpha Blue re-cut, that scene happens happens later in the film AFTER Lou mentions it). Another scene, where Lou fucks & sucks the Smith brothers, is totally absent from the re-cut movie.
